Respect and Consent go hand in hand.

“It’s about modelling consent and checking in with children about what they’re feeling and allowing children to have a voice from an early age and respecting that.” - Leesa Waters, deputy CEO at the National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (Napcan)

At Happy Hearts we generally work with young children below the age of 6. When we think about consent we usually think of teenagers learning about sex and connection. And yes this is true and very important. But what if we started showing infants how to respect and ask for consent when they are just 2 weeks old?

Children learn from a very young age how to interact with others. They learn by listening and observing the people around them. Little babies who have been earth side for just 2 weeks are learning by feeling. They can feel how you hold them, how you speak to them, how you pick them up and put them down. With this in mind here are a few experiences that you can do with an infant to model respect and consent:

• Before taking them from their mum or dad, look at them, introduce yourself and tell her/him that you will hold them now.

• Before you wipe their nose, ask them and wait for a response. The infant will either give you a giggle or no not ready. Listen, observe, then act.

• When you put them down and need to walk away to do something - tell them.

• When the nappy needs to be changed. Ask them, shall we change your nappy now? Wait for a response. Sometimes you won’t get one but most of the time they will tell you. This is a really vulnerable experience so treat it that way. Tell them that you will wipe their penis or vagina to make sure it’s all clean. Tell them when you lift their legs and are putting on a new nappy. This keeps them informed all the way through and it keeps you totally connected to them.

• When you see an infant with their mum or dad in the street - say hello to them also. Even tho they may not make a sound or recognise you. Say hello!

• Respecting their voice by answering and talking to them. They are generally expressing a need. Answer the need with your voice and you could say, thanks for letting me know and asking for help.

When you wait for a response you are giving the infant an opportunity to make a choice. It’s about them recognising the own agency. Giving them opportunities like this in their early life will set them up to be clear communicators, who are kind and respectful of others. It can start as young as 2 weeks old!!

A few bonuses here are:

- you will feel more connected to the/your infant and you will be more aware of what you are doing. Which creates more presence, which ultimately gives you more peace in your life.

- how you respect and show consent will also trickle out to the other relationships in your life.

#winning